The Suit


Ever look at someone and almost instantly tell what kind of person they are?

Well, you shouldn’t be doing that as it’s bad to stereotype but sometimes the nail gets hit square on the head!


The suit!

I abhor the suit! For years has been a symbol of (mostly) masculine power and unquenchable greed. Indeed it is pretty much the uniform for ego, ruthlessness, division and of course….control!

The worrying thing is that these things seem to be celebrated by the wearer.

How often have you seen a man, maybe late 30s/40s in a grey suit with an expensive briefcase/umbrella combo wearing £300 leather shoes and a haircut that is just as expensive that when asked what he does responds with either “Oh I’m in…*This field* or simply “I’m a businessman”

What does that actually mean though? Business, it’s such a broad term that has appeared to have been hijacked by men in suits in the 80’s as an exclusive line of work that has some kind of mega-serious weight to it that only the elite can handle.  The new buzz word for businessman seems to be entrepreneur but it’s exactly the same thing though perhaps aimed at a younger crowd. Regardless of terminology you will more than likely find the same glaring feature in both….the suit!


Suits aren’t a new thing. The kind as we know have been around since the turn of the last century with the popularity being seemingly in the 40’s and 50’s when just about every man of age was wearing one (check out old films and it’s suits galore, even for casual wear). Even then they signified significant status, upper class, good breeding and of course wealth. The suit  was obviously most popular with the power mad in the 20th century but it was true before then too. I must admit though to far preferring the 1800’s style Victorian or western suits with tails, waistcoats and some wonderful flair and diversity. These days I can’t tell one of the fuckers from another.

What all this just means is that they have lots of money. That’s it!

That is the be all and end all for the suit (if I can reference the wonderful Michael J. Fox film The Secret Of My Success and use the word Suit as a collective).


The suit’s main objective seems to be power through the acquisition of wealth and it is this which is so unbelievably saturated through society around the globe.

It’s not about acquiring new and creative skills, it’s not about spending your time helping others less fortunate than you. In fact, it is almost the opposite with the main objective being to crush absolutely everyone in your path to get what you want by using someone else’s skillset and then buying shit to show off.

Friends = Contacts

Growth = Winning

Success = Money

It’s like the world watched Wall Street in the 80’s and then people decided to become gigantic dicks to one another!

The original suited prick!

Look no further than our own (or anyone else’s for that matter) Parliament for a shining example of this. A bunch of old, rich grey men in grey suits with grey attitudes mixing with a bunch of younger rich men in suits with the same outlook.

One of us

The suit is an indoctrinative (is that even a word?) culture to be sure. How many companies force their employees to wear a suit to work ? Quite a lot I’d imagine although perhaps not as much as used to be. Even just recently the former Prime Minister David Cameron slated opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn for not wearing a suit.


Does a suit give one magical powers to do one’s job better? No, of course not, so why is it considered a necessity?

“Because it’s smart and professional!”

Really…let’s look at that shall we?

Being “smart” is a subjective concept. What one person may find smart another would find tacky or shabby and vice versa. To force one single view of “smart” and to make it almost mandatory is when boiled down a removal of rights at it’s core.

This must all seem very “first world problems” and on the surface it is but it’s the sinister culture beneath the suit that is the worrying part.

Now don’t get me wrong I know that there are people out there who wear suits because they genuinely think that it looks good on them and they enjoy the style without any other motivations. Smashing, if it’s your thing then go with it there is noting wrong with that

My personal version of “smart” is dressing like a trucker. I like plaid shirts, bootcut jeans, cowboy boots, fur lined Levi jackets and anything that looks vaguely from the 1970’s. I want to be connected to the everyman, the common person and heaven forbid, the underdog. The difference being that I’m not forcing or belittling anyone else for not wearing what I like and therein lies the problem. The suit isn’t just a fashion statement, it’s a method of conformity and control that goes beyond the simple blue collar/white collar hierarchy of it’s roots. Right now it represents pretty much all that is bad with the world in terms of greed, cruelty, snobbishness and just generally being a cunt.


If my views seem mean then they are but make no mistake they are not misdirected or uninformed. Do not take me for some tree hugging scatterbrained lefty for saying the things I say. I am an owner and operator of a “business” myself and left wing I may be but I would sooner stab someone in the eye with a crystal than wave it at the nature Goddess in some spiritual bullshit cobblers and I’m in no way into hippy dippy mince so know that what I say…I mean!

In saying that and as hypocritical as it may sound I actually do own a suit. It was bought ten years ago for my father’s funeral and has never been worn since.

This is mainly for the negative emotional aspects attached to it but also the fact that I despise a world which still thinks that how you dress is reflective of your ability. This isn’t just about suits, it’s about people with tattoos (I have none so it’s not a bias) it’s about people with crazy hair and it is 100% about the snide dick snorters who constantly spout venom at anyone who dares to be a little different. How often has a picture appeared on social media of someone with a few tattoos and piercings and the comments are chock full of people spitting “Good luck getting a job!” without realising that the person in the picture probably has a job and earns more money in their field than the snakes that doubt them ever could.

As for the suit…..I’ll wear one out of courtesy but I’ll never be part of the message behind the ghastly thing.

I actually don’t think it looks particularly smart. In fact I think it looks pretty stupid if I’m honest. Monotonously coloured, drab and boring standard fare which all look alike with double breasted varieties and their baggy clown trousers, oversized jackets all topped of with a flappy piece of cloth hanging from your neck. The list grows even dafter with current trends of skinny type suit trousers crossed with what I can only describe as pointy goblin shoes that stretch out about 3 feet in front of the wearer. Not that I want some girl and her little dog to drop a house on these mofos but if the shoe fits (HA!).

Add to all this the laughable price tag to something that makes you look like every other cunt and it’s actually quite funny that those who see themselves as better are actually taken in by what is the snobby equivalent of  a boiler suit.

Harsh? Maybe, but I’ve been told often enough how scruffy I look by guys in suits so fuck them.

Do something you love that doesn’t involve shitting over others and do it well, regardless of how you dress.


Author: Kitsune Mifune


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